The passage of time is marked by ritual. Birthdays are counted with tiny candles, Rush week is passed by getting paddled, and fiscal quarters are anointed with new iPhones. Today is the end of the old year, and to celebrate the death of a year, we wear sparkles. With the fragile superstition of a time long past, we reach the last page of our word-a-day calendars and fear that this must mean the end of the world, so we bedazzle everything with the chintzy shine of reflective plastic. We strive to reflect all the world’s light with tiny bits of aluminum as we reflect on the year we have just squandered. But in our haste to brighten the Earth on the last day of the year, are we accidentally darkening its tomorrow? Shine bright with Mat and Veronique as we dust off the New Year’s plague of unremitting Glitter!

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

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