The digital age has changed the way humankind interacts with the world. The sun is a convenient light source, but no longer do we rise and rest with its rise and set. The need to care for livestock has been replaced by the convenience of Lunchables. Human emotion has been handed over to the Netflix recommendation algorithm. And attending to the needs of affection has been delegated to the corporate seasonal ad campaigns. Flowers and chocolate on the television triggers the Rube Goldberg machina in the what’s left of the average-married-man’s skull cavity to purchase some partially decayed flora and a folded piece of pink cardboard for his house partner. Love successfully transmitted, he may now return to his previously scheduled programming. Eavesdrop in on Veronique and Mat as we acknowledge the appropriate level of affection for Valentine’s Day.

*Grumbles are specifically off-the-cuff, no research went into this grumble.

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