Sirens
A shrill noise in the night invokes an immediate sense of danger. A horn calling out across a valley will […]
Doomsday Predictions
The end is nigh! The sun has been blighted and the Aztec calendar has ended! All of the eight prophesies […]
Tipping in Advance
The exchange of money for goods and services is the cornerstone of civilization. Goods have value, and money has value; […]
The News
Humanity has a natural inclination toward gossip. It’s an instinctive need that we’re constantly up to date on what’s happening. […]
The Word ‘Just’
Humanity is a duality. ‘Humanity’ is defined by us, our species, humans, the animal that rose above all other beasts […]
Snow
How privileged we have become, to love the snow. The pretty, white blanket has become a plaything to draw angels […]
Tension
As the long arc of the universe slowly degrades toward entropy, so too is the path of our humanly bodies […]
Summer
Humanity has very practically divided time into seconds and minutes and hours; but the gods have divided time into seasons. […]
Costco
The trajectory of human commerce is a beautiful rainbow of collaboration. The unseemly origins of bartering melted away as we […]
The Cold
Autumn is here. The thermostat dips lower by the day. Sunlight slips through the bare branches of the trees before […]
Forced Audience
Theatre has been part of the Human experience since the dawn of creation. Before the first hieroglyph was ever etched, […]
Traffic Court
The Game of Life is a nuanced, open-world role-playing game that everybody gets to play once. While some stats are […]
Toilet Paper
Humanity has evolved well beyond the limitations of our animal origins. Our structures of steel and glass practically scrape the […]
Elevator Etiquette
The Meaning of Life is remarkably simple, cherish the people that are close to you. Unfortunately, ‘Close,’ in this instance, […]
Mornings
Despite our advanced digital civilization, Humankind are still organic, natural beasts. We must eat and breathe, we must cut our […]
Slow Moving People
Behold! The future is now! Long has humankind dreamed of an age where labor could be performed by automaton. Fields […]
Birthdays
After names, the most fundamental identity we have is age. Any news article, wanted poster, or Bumble match lists that […]
Roommates
A home is a sacred concept. A healthy mind requires a safe haven that we can call our own. The […]
Being Away
There is, in humankind, an innate desire for exploration. We long to see what’s just over the horizon. We turn […]
Unwaxed Bowling Lanes
Since time immemorial, humankind has celebrated the athlete. There is a primal sense of combat in sport which allows us […]
Bicycle Laws
The automobile has revolutionized human civilization in countless ways: drive-ins, drive-throughs, drive-ways, parking garages, walk-signals, etc. Cars far outnumber humans […]
Subway Hate
The billions of cells that make up our bodies all require oxygen. Evolution has provided a streamlined solution to this […]
Twelve Hour Clocks
Guest Grumbler: Allyson Boate Since the dawn of civilization, humanity has stared toward the heavens, calculating the movement of the […]
Hair
Guest Grumbler: Kim Gant Our hair is precious. It’s our personality. It’s our identity. Every single day we fix our […]
